6.5, 6.6, 6.7, 6.8, 6.9

Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, Tuesday
Note: Thursday night dinner - total binge. I ate an entire medium pizza and a meatball sub all by myself.

Friday
Dinner date with J at Thai restaurant. His first time ever having it (?!) and he enjoyed it. I had pineapple fried rice; he had crispy chicken fried rice.

Saturday
Had my monthly massage, which was great. Had bacon, egg, cheese biscuit and 2 cinnamon twist donuts from Rise (next to massage place). Spent evening with J - another dinner date at Hickory Tavern. I got wings and didn't eat them all. Sat outside talking, talking, talking until 12:30am - and we were hungry again...so we went to Waffle House and had blueberry waffles. He went home.

Sunday
J and I had plans to meet up Sunday, too, to go to the planetarium, but I asked if we could postpone - I was exhausted. I thought perhaps he'd take it the wrong way, so I made sure he knew it was just that I was exhausted and needed time alone. He actually felt the same way, which was a relief. I enjoy his company - so much that it scares me, and he says the same - but I needed to center myself because things were getting emotionally overwhelming (after having been single for 2.5 years, spending two evenings/late nights together in a row gets my head all foggy). Sunday, I had bacon, egg and cheese on a sesame bagel, an iced latte and a jelly donut - around 8am (went to bed at 2am!). Then I was still tired and went back to bed until 10am. I browse FB Marketplace and came across an antique letter press drawer/shelf for sale for $25 and I missed the last time I saw one on sale, so I snapped it up. While out, I visited a new shop called "JuiceVibes" - all organic, raw, local, etc etc stuff. They have all kinds of juices but it was like 100 degrees outside so I got the "Surf's Up" - strawberry, orange, pineapple, lemon, lime or something like that. And I got an order of "Apple Jacks" - two thick apple slices, with house made peanut butter, organic granola and raw honey drizzled on top inside each of the slices of apple. Holy moly - it was delicious! And healthy! Later I went home - and yes - slept again from 6-8pm and woke up to go grocery shopping. I had this really crazy, clingy feeling of "missing" J. I mean seriously, we've had 5 dates. To be completely honest, he is a bit clingy - always the one complimenting me, thanking me for this, that and the other thing. I originally thought it was getting to be too much - but then I was the one who was missing him? Is this possible? Is it too much too soon? I keep researching it and get no answers; they all say "it depends on the couple". Ugh. I'm nervous because after my divorce, I only waited 8 months before meeting Paul, and very quickly moved in, got engaged, etc. It was way too fast. I don't want that to happen again but what if it's one of those situations where "he is the one?" How the heck am I supposed to know? I'm forcing myself to not see the guy for two days in a row to make sure we have distance to keep our minds clear....but to keep our minds clear for what? I don't know...it's very confusing...but really nice. I had tortillas and fresh salsa for dinner. And two s'mores pie slices (like snickers but diff flavor).

Monday
Woke up at 4:45am. Couldn't sleep. Even went into work early. Stopped to get two wakeup wraps from DD, and coffee. Had turkey sandwich for lunch, no cookie - watched the eclipse (really cool!) and, after torturing myself all day Sunday - I felt an insane urge to see J again. So I texted, he texted, and we had coffee. Something was very different, much stronger attraction...we talked and talked and talked. Ugh.....I think I'm falling for this guy. Is it just lust? You know, that initial oxytocin-crazed mind-muddling feeling in the beginning of something good that blinds you to everything sensible? And when is the right time for "that?" I've read the average is 3-5 dates....well in that case, we're doing pretty darned good, right? hehe. He went home, I went home. I had chips and salsa again, felt extremely nauseous, went to bed.

Tuesday
Super tired today. Boss here this week. Busy at work, as usual. Sent/received some nice texts w/J. Probably won't see each other today or tomorrow. It's difficult during the week - I get home late, don't want to rush around getting ready to go somewhere. He wakes up at the crack of dawn to drive an hour to work. No breakfast today, went to Thai restaurant w/coworkers for lunch - had Pad Thai - had extreme stomach ache afterward, but all seems to be fine now. Leaving work in about 15 minutes because I'm so tired I could fall asleep at my desk. This whole dating thing is very emotionally draining, I have to say. Dinner tonight....practicing what my nutritionist told me, I can make my mind up right now as to what I will have to eat, so that I'm not swayed in the moment. All in all, though, I've had a pretty decent week so far with regard to binges. And I'm beginning to realize that boredom and loneliness are huge contributors. Since I've been busy w/work and dating - I don't binge as often.