6.1, 6.2, 6.3, 6.4

Monday - Thursday

6.1 Monday

Visit with nutritionist: Noticed that I'm completely a stress eater. I knew that, but I actually noticed the instant it happened Monday at work. I was fine, then my boss called and she was so stressed she said she could cry. Just too much going on - and the 407 slide deck we were working on was copied, edited by two other people so we were lost as to which file was the most current. I walked her through it one file at a time, and we resolved the issue. As soon (I mean instantly) as I hung up the phone, I grabbed the chocolate chip cookie I ordered at lunch and inhaled it so quickly that I really don't even think I savored it, like I normally do. I'm usually a very slow eater. I told the nutritionist this, and the fact that after approximately one week off from work, I start getting "myself" back - I exercise, do yoga, etc. But then I go back to work, get stressed out, end up exhausted and it's the same cycle. On the other hand, I actually enjoy my job - as stressful as it is - so this week she asked me to try something to work on my reaction to the stress. Example: There's a Dunkin Donuts directly within my apartment complex. I plan to stop there, and I know what I want, but if the order-taker asks "do you want to just make it six donuts? it's less money," I automatically say yes. My pregnant friend bought a 25 cent blow pop after our lunch at a Mexican restaurant. I never buy that stuff, but she asked if I wanted one, I thought about it and gave in "sure." So I'm able to make my own decisions and choose what I want, but I'm also easily swayed if anything like that comes up. So she wants me to (as much as possible) think ahead. If I go to Burger King every day - then I know that I'm going there. Decide beforehand and stick to it - even if it's not healthful. She's not focused on food right now. If I decide as I pull into my complex that I should go to Dunkin Donuts, pull into a parking spot for 2-3 minutes and do a centering meditation, thinking about why I am doing this, what I really want, etc. If I decide to get the food anyway, that is fine - but it's a lesson in gaining control over what I choose to eat. When I do this, she wants me to reflect on how it felt, did it work, why not. If it worked, why, etc.

6.2 Tuesday
Was busy at work, and I started ordering lunch (online) but decided to pause for a few minutes to think about whether or not I should order the cookie I usually order. I felt like I was getting into a good headspace, but then work happened, I became busy with another new emergency and by 2pm I was starving so I ordered the sandwich and the cookie. Stress!!! That's what does it!

The guy I dated and I are still getting along well. We've been texting here and there. I actually get feelings of wanting to see him again, which is surprising but nice.

6.3 Wednesday
Had my weekly meeting with my boss. She first asked me if I had the capacity to take over another employee's role while she's out on maternity leave. I wanted to say, "ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?" but then she asked me to be honest and tell her if I had too much on my plate and she'd ask the Sr. Mgr. to do it - because she thinks she has the bandwidth and it would be good for her to get experience working with a sales team, sales managers, etc. (which is good-because this particular manager is driving her team insane because she thinks she understands their roles, but has never had any experience with it, and no one really knows what she's doing anyway). So I took a deep breath and told her that although I hate to say no, if she feels that Sarah has the bandwidth, I'd prefer that because with the study project, and everything else - it's nearly impossible for me to squeeze this in, too. I also know that this person leaving on maternity leave is moving soon, too - and I know my company too well - I'd be stuck in her role until they hire someone else - IF they hire someone else. But I told my boss that if Sarah needed any help with content, I'd be happy to fit it in. (Although I don't have time for it, really, but eh, whatever.) So, the next thing that happened - she wanted to update me on the raise/promotion topic. She said she is 99.9% sure that my promotion is happening and it will be announced on October 1. So, I'd be Sr. Content Marketing Manager. My responsibilities will be the same - different title, and a RAISE!!! I was surprised by that and she asked why. Normally, you're role NEVER stays the same - you're usually expected to do 3 jobs vs 2 lol. But she said that I've consistently gone above and beyond; I do things that she never even asks or thinks about. Yadda yadda. She said that the promotion is recognizing that work, and making sure you're paid appropriately for all that you do.      Seriously, I was blown away. She's the only manager I've ever had who fights for me! I told her that I've spent 5 years at this company and no one has ever recognized the work I do, much less considered giving me a raise and a promotion for it. So I thanked her. I really do appreciate it. Some of my teammates won't be so happy, but I have to stop worrying about that.    I had dinner with James. James is a good name, isn't it? We had pizza - I had one slice. When I am dating, I have no problems with my eating habits. It's when I'm alone - always. And....during lunch, when my sandwich came, with the cookie - I gave it to the receptionist because she loves them so much. When I got home after dinner, I had chips and salsa and chocolate chip cookie from Chik Fil A that I got the night before with dinner.

6.4 Thursday (today)
Working from home today - it's SO nice having peace and quiet and zero interruptions (well, minimal anyway). I ate a chicken, egg and cheese on a multigrain bagel from Chick Fil A and iced coffee from Dunkin. And - without even thinking - which is my homework this week - I ordered a chocolate chip cookie from Chick Fil A because the one I had last night was unbelievably delicious. I like crispy vs. chewy and I like overbaked so they're dark brown. Which reminds me, Dana....the nutritionist confirmed that yes, it's ritualizing the thing I do with the Snickers Pies (and many many other things), like you mentioned. Oh I also bought a donut from Dunkin. Haven't eaten the donut or cookie yet. I just like knowing they're there if I want them later. (ugh) Another thing the nutritionist told me was that every time I come in to report my week, change days, binges, etc. I always focus on what I did "wrong" and not on the successes I've had. Ex: "You've had one less binge this week!" etc. Or the week I didn't blog at all and felt so guilty. She said to focus on what I did right. Any improvement, small or large, counts. Looking forward to the planetarium this weekend. And...I'm getting my monthly massage Saturday morning!

I can't wait for the eclipse!! My company is celebrating with ice cream (food food food). I got my glasses weeks ago. I know where we are in NC it will be a partial eclipse, but we'll see a 90% eclipse which is pretty darned good for a once-in-a-lifetime event!

Are you watching???