Take This Job and Shove It

Every year there is a restructure in my marketing department. Every year my role changes. On December 22, an announcement was made that big changes were coming. What those changes are still have not been communicated. Having an HR and Org. Dev. background, any change - big or small - but especially a restructure - should never be announced so casually, and before the holidays, or at all - without being carefully planned and formalized. The result? A team on pins and needles.

Since the new year, we've been told "they're working on it," and personally, I'm struggling with this because my role is the only one that will change the most.

I am 43. I have worked here for 6 years and 7 months. I've had my career dreams ruined by a single individual at this company four years ago. I stayed at the company. I transitioned from both HR and a brand new career in Organization Development. I spent 8 months in a full-time program (in addition to my full-time role) earning my certification in Org. Dev., paid for by the CEO.

Just like that, a VP of People and Org. Dev. was hired, and my archnemesis in my department flaunted her fake, narcissistic self to the new VP, and I was out. But not "out" in a professional manner. Subtly pushed out, with a first-in-my-lifetime below average performance review that was false - I even provided proof, but it didn't matter. I saw the writing on the wall and I noticed a job opening in Marketing. I noticed I met all of the qualifications and I noticed how valuable my experience as a former client of this company would be to the role. I applied, I interviewed, I completed a sample project, I kept moving forward. The only hitch was the salary. Having been both a Recruiting Manager and an HR Advisor, I knew what previous employees made. I also knew that, while I went to school for graphic design and had a couple of marketing positions before, I had no experience as a product marketing manager, specifically. So I researched all the various salary websites and determined the salary range for an entry-level, minimally experienced product marketing manager. The offer was still $5k below. I negotiated and negotiated. The hiring manager was a really nice guy, poor thing. (I hired him, actually lol). I wasn't budging and the following week, they told me they'd come up $2.5k.

They could meet me halfway, but not $2.5k more? Really? They kept emphasizing my lack of experience; I kept emphasizing my product and company knowledge - and asking them how I am supposed to accept this role, already feeling undervalued? Not very motivating. They told me they'd consider it.

I was called into his office a few days later. He told me they aren't increasing the offer. I pushed back, and he was IM'ing someone. He was obviously awkward or frustrated and he finally said to me, the VP of People and Org. Dev. is messaging me, and she said if you don't take the offer, you'll have to report to the narcissist who ruined my career (my words).

I felt powerless - and angry - and I knew if I went to a lawyer, I could have a case. This is not the normal transfer process - she shouldn't have been involved at all, much less IM'ing those things to him. I waited a week - and accepted at the lower rate. I had no job, I hated where I was and I certainly wasn't reporting to my coworker (who I also hired...and got her a manager titled after I received one because she was pissed that I was a manager before her...craziness).

This was the worst moment in my history of employment. I was not in a good space. Even the CEO called me into his office to ask if I was OK - he knew it would be rough on me, blah blah. (He and I started together...I even reported to him at one point.)

OK...fast forward. I got over myself and started (the good little Capricorn that I am) paving my way in Marketing. Restructure #1: new boss, new role (no choice really). I excelled, then restructure #2: same boss, new role, focused more on what I was interested in (writing marketing content). Restructure #3: Promoted to Sr. level role, same manager, similar role different team structure. Restructure #4 Same manager, different focus, but includes more editing and messaging consistency - I'm loving it! Finally...moving in the right direction and new career - this is totally the path I want to take. Large acquisition - CEO of which wants a role created for his tenured employee. She has 20+ years of experience in marketing - but her role will be editing, messaging consistency, etc.....everything I've been working toward. Suddenly, my team is moved to another department - and digital marketing is having this new chick take over all of our content edits...and now her team is doing lead gen, which we have always done (in addition to everything else). But wait - plot twist - we're now moving back to Marketing, and the current VP is no longer working as a VP and that brings me to now.

I'm in limbo. My job has always been my life. I'm always afraid of losing my job. That won't be happening in this case, but my boss told me there's a good chance I won't be reporting to her, and that my role will be joining the other product marketing managers, but having a specific vertical market to write demand generation content for. So our team is now only doing demand gen content (I think, nothing has been officially decided...ugh), and I now have to go from a career-making decision to taking orders from fellow product marketers to create content for them. And there's so much more background drama but I don't have the energy to even write about it.

I just feel that here I am...having given my all to this company no matter what it has thrown my way, and for the second time, my career has just disappeared.

My boss works remotely as the Director of Product Marketing - they're constantly wanting her to move to NC, but she doesn't want to. For the past 3 years, she has been able to lie low under the radar and for that reason she doesn't want to rock the boat. She said that she submitted her re-org proposal to the CEO, with me on her new "strategy and branding/messaging consistency" team as "senior editor" but - she said the CEO mentioned I should be a content writer. I told her he is only saying that because for as long as I've known him, he knows I've been interested in writing, but I have changed. She told me she doesn't feel like she has a close enough relationship with him but she'll "try" to fight for me.

Well, I do have a very close relationship with him, so if she can't fight for me, I will fight for myself. I was so disappointed to hear her say that. And I know it's because she's fearful that he'll look closer into her and her team and ask her to move here again. I emailed him - apologizing for going over my boss's head, but I stated my case for continuing on the path I'm on and not doing demand gen content, and staying on my boss's team (that I respect her, and learn from her, blah blah). He responded and thanked me for reaching out - said he can't commit either way but will heavily weigh my thoughts when making a decision.

Then for the past week, my boss has been onsite and completely ignoring me. I had my weekly meeting with her yesterday and she told me that the CEO told her I reached out to him and asked what I said. I told her I sang her praises and would appreciate staying on the path I've been on and told him all of the projects I've completed specifically related to your team. She was like "oh thank you, that was sweet." But still, no decision has been made. Apparently, today was the big meeting between the CEO and marketing leadership. But my boss already flew back home and I still haven't been told anything.

I can't express how crazy this is making me. It was for this very reason that I got my massage therapy license. Because no one else can control that career, except for me. I will always have it to fall back on. And although the pay would be half of what I'm earning now, and it is really exhausting after a while, I can cut back quite a bit and still afford my mortgage and bills if I had to, until I found something higher paying.

So, I have been actively applying for positions where I can actually use my talent. I have also been reaching out to people I've worked with (executives, CEOs, - people with connections) to ask them to keep their eyes open for me, to which they have agreed, thankfully. I've updated my resume and have created an online portfolio of writing samples.

Ideally, I would love a remote senior copywriter/editor role. Even if it included a pay cut. Even more, I would love to work for myself and provide those services.

I hate feeling like I have no control over my job - the one thing that I center my life around.

Oh and yeah, I purchased my first home specifically in a location close to where our new office building will be. Maybe I should just sell everything and live minimally and bag groceries. (I swear I would love to do this.)

Rant over. I needed to get that out. Normally, I'd go back and edit my post, but I don't even care. So, apologies if this seems like one giant run-on bitch session. haha.

Happy weekend all.